Dating expectations too high


“I disagree that women want heroes,” said one gentleman.“Women want servants.” He goes on to write, “They will never admit it, and it can certainly ‘translate’ to ‘hero’ in a limited concept, but women of all ages want young, attractive men to wait on them and make them happy…Women might be initially attracted to brave and strong men but the relationship endures only if the income level of the ‘hero’ is sufficient to satisfy the woman’s long-term expectations.” He asks, Apoll,36% of married women would not remarry their spouse, 76% fantasize about another man, and 76% of married women surveyed keep secrets from their husbands. In 2012, one-in-five adults ages 25 and older (about 42 million people) had never been married, according to a Pew Research Center. “Among divorced adults, only 29% say they would like to marry again, with women more likely than men to say they do want another trip down the aisle.” One interpretation is that proffered by my aforementioned male reader: Women start out wanting a knight in shining armor and then, when he turns out to be an idealistic dreamer battling at windmills, we are disenchanted.Here are a few questions to ask yourself to find out if you have unrealistic dating expectations: Too picky: “I want to marry a doctor who has a six pack, is passionate about traveling, and loves to cook.” You might as well be looking for shirtless Mc Dreamy to ride down the beach on a white horse. Ultimately, most marriages are 1-1 so it mostly works out and women learn to lower their expectations and 'settle' or do without, though the poorest and ugliest guys can be left behind while the most desirable may have multiple partners and spend more of their time in relationships.While this isn't necessarily fair, it happens because historically, childbirth was dangerous and women needed men to provide for their children since that could be a full time job in and of itself. If all women cared about the type of car I drove, I would have been alone forever.

This is the message conveyed in the majority of romance novels and romantic comedies.While I’ve had my fair share of fairy tale moments — meeting a handsome stranger in Central Park, kissing in the rain — I’m also aware that these moments are a sparkling façade for what dating and relationships are actually like.And as much as I would love to meet my husband in a movie moment kind of way, if I met my Prince Charming in a gas station, I’d have to embrace it.As soon as she looked at the tree, “she saw that the tree was good for food, pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for gaining wisdom” (Gen 3:6). We women are easily persuaded to overturn our original decision (in Eve’s case, her decision to obey God), in favor of the delights of the imagination: look at how attractive that tree is!


Surely it must also be excellent to eat and also, as the serpent said, excellent for wisdom (a good rationale for doing what I want).

Initially thrilled with a successful breadwinner, we become disgruntled when we discover he is a work-a-holic who spends long hours at the office and is frequently away on travel. but also excellent providers who will allow us to stay at home in the regal fashion we deserve.


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