Funny sex chat conversations

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It’s not even in the heat of sexting, it’s almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book.

Here’s what NOT to do: If you must send a picture, keep it from the waist up unless specifically asked.

Maybe I’m afraid of hurting your feelings, or of embarrassing myself.

It's also still not easy for me to voice when my disability keeps me from doing things I wish I could do, but I know just don't work for me.

I'm no weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight. " If I was a cat I'd spend all my 9 lives with you." "Girl, I can give you what a thunderstorm can, 10-12 inches and you won't be able to leave the house for 2 to 3 days!

I know you haven't been studying, You must want the "D" I'm not a photographer....I can picture us together. " Girl: "I thought it was a penny" Boy: "I think your thoughts are worth more!

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is impressed: 2. According to the dozens of girls I’ve spoken to about this, it’s crazy how eager guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look.☺ Weddings that have gone wrong.☺Things you should not say at your own wedding.☺ People you call after getting drunk.☺ The funniest crime stories ever.☺ The biggest lie that government told us.☺ Daydreaming should be a religion.☺ Homer Simpson for President.☺ Funny names to call your sister's boyfriend.☺ Biggest lies that men actually believe about women.☺ Surviving a blind date.☺ Discuss the different ways you can hide your braces at school.☺ How would you fire your boss? ☺ Why do they put up pictures of criminals at the post office? Why don't they put their pictures on postage stamps so that the mailmen could look for them while they are delivering the mail?☺ The first time you got drunk.☺ What movies teach you about love and dating that is absolutely lame.☺ Things you shouldn't say to a cop who pulls you over for speeding.☺ 20 unique ways to order pizzas.☺ Discuss personal bloopers at length.☺ How to win the title of the 'most annoying guy/girl of the class' in a day.☺ Funny holidays in other countries.☺ How Murphy's law governs your life.☺ Signs that made you doubt the sanity of your boss/librarian/college professor.☺ The worst advice you have got till date that actually worked for you, somehow.☺ Funniest nicknames for teachers.☺ True travel stories which are less-true and more-funny.☺ Why is it that when someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it? ☺ When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? ☺ If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? These questions are enough to stupefy anyone, so weave them into your conversation, so that it would give the people around you some food for thought. Girl: I have a boyfriend Boy: I have a math test Girl: What? Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey? Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're so dope. I advise you to surrender immediately, or I'll have to use a chat up line.

" Instead of being the derivative, id much rather be the secant so i can touch u not only once, but twice Boy: Girl, whats your number? Boy: "Oh I must have forgotten the letters U R A Q T" Do You Like Nintendo? If I hired 1,000 artists and made them work for 100 years they still wouldn't be able to paint a picture that is as beautiful as you. You getting into those tight pants or me getting you out of them? "Give me 30 minutes over lunch, and i will win your heart, as you have already won mine." Hey beautiful, they call me Jolly Rancher cause I stay hard for a long time! "My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. " "Look you little Juicy Fruit, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. (make her look) Would you like a gin and platonic or a Scotch and sofa? You: Hey – this feels great, and I’d like to keep on doing it if you would, but I just want to press pause for a sec to make sure we’re on the same page. Them: Yeah, I like this too, and if you want to have dry sex, I could be down with that, but that all by itself is great for me, too. Just keep me posted with any changes if you start to feel differently, and I’ll do the same. Alternate Conversation: You: Hey – this feels great, and I’d like to keep on doing it if you would, but I want to stop for a sec to make sure we’re on the same page. (keeps kissing) You: Whoah: it’s really important to me that I take a minute now, so I need you to do that, too. You: You know, if we can’t do things like just take a minute to check in and lay down some boundaries and ground rules – and that’s all I needed to do – while this felt really good, I don’t want to keep going with it. If you’re ready to talk about this another time, you can call me. I’ve been having the hardest time talking about what I like and what I don’t.

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